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Your name is... Hey. Wait a minute. This isn't MSPFA. Hm... Oh well. Your name.... What is your name? (input-box:2bind $name,"XX===") [[> Continue.]]

(if:$name is "Theseus" or "The" or "Theseus J Wizardington" or "Theseus Wizardington" or "Wizardington" or "The Wizard")[That's... Uh... Correct. Good job. I guess you know what you're doing. [[(Look around)]]](else:)[That's not your name, silly! Nice try, (text-colour:#15c)[Theseus]. [[>That's not my name]] [[>You're right, wonderful handsome narrator]] [[>Theseus: Be Theseus.]] ]

Too bad! [[>Dude]] [[>Theseus: Fine, I'll be Theseus|>Theseus: Be Theseus.]]

Thanks! Now [[go be Theseus!|>Theseus: Be Theseus.]]

You're already Theseus. No need for the MSPFA formatting. We're somewhere else now. [[>You did it first asshole]] [[>Okay then what formatting do we use]]

What? [[>I'm not Theseus?]]

Yes you are! [[>No I'm not]]

Your name seems to be Theseus J. Wizardington. You did not gain that information from looking around. This is just information I am putting here to show I'm Serious now. You are in your wizard tower, located in Witches Cauldron on Wizard Island in Crater Lake National Park, Oregon. It's a little small in here, but you've managed to fit in everything you need. You're currently on the top floor, your bedroom. In it is, unsurprisingly, your bed. Underneath said bed is a light blue ORB. [[(Jump out the window)]] [[(Grab your ORB)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Go downstairs)]]

Shut up!!!!!!!! So rude... Theseus would never call me such vulgar things... Get out!!!! [[>Okay dude. Fine. Fuck you]]

I don't know! [[{Okay how about these curly brackets}]]

What did you just say to me???? I'll kill you!!!! I'll end your life right here and now!!!! [[>Dude really what's your problem]] [[>I didn't say anything]]

My main problem right now is you still being here!!!! Go!!!! Shoo!!!! Close the tab!!!! [[>Okay fine bye]]

Yeah buddy, that's what I thought. Shoo. Close the tab. [[>Okay fine bye]]

Hmph... Whatever... Not like I cared in the first place. [[>You're still talking]]

No! Those are ugly!!!!!!!! [[Okay fine how about the square brackets. Hey where are my square brackets]]

I can't use those!!!! [[Why not]] [[(Okay fine what about parentheseses)]]

Be quiet!!!! Parentheses!!!! [[(Whatever you say man)]]

You spelled it wrong!!!! [[(You did that not me)|Why not]]

Good. Now start acting a little bit more like Theseus. [[(Look around)]]

Not to you!!!! [[>Then who]]

Me!!!!!!!! [[>Dude you're so in love with me]]

No I'm not!!!! [[>You want to kiss me so bad]]

NO I DON'T!!!! [[>Admit it buddy]]

Don't call me buddy!!!! I'm not your BUDDY, BUDDY!!!! [[>Okay then what do I call you]]

I'm not telling you!!!! [[>Why not]]

Because I want you to leave already!!!! [[>No you don't you're in love with me]]

I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!! [[>Yes you are buddy]]

I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY!!!! [[>Yes you are my beautiful lover]]

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???? [[>Your also beautiful lover]]

SHUT UP!!!! GET OUT!!!! [[>No]]

Fine! No more dialogue options for you! Now get out!!!! (click:?page)+(t8n:"flicker")[=[[>I don't think so]]

YOU'RE the one in love with me!!!! I'm NOT in love with YOU!!!! Leave me ALONE!!!! [[>That's a lot of capitalized words and shout poles buddy]]

My name is DARRYL!!!! Not BUDDY!!!! [[>Hi Daryl]]

HI. [[>How's it going Daryll]]

BAD!!!! [[>Aw why's that Daryyl]]

BECAUSE OF YOU!!!! [[>What did I even do Darrel]]

WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT???? [[>Doing what, Dhaireighlle?]]

SPELLING MY NAME LIKE THAT???? AND PUTTING IT IN EVERY SENTENCE???? [[>I don't know what you're refering to, Darrell]]

I'LL KILL YOU!!!! [[>So rude. I think you're the real rude one here, Daaryl]]

Fuck you!!!! Fuck you, I hate you!!!! [[>I love you too]]

... [[>Hi]]

[[>Darryl?]]

[[>Okay, my bad]]

[[>...Darryl?]]

[[>...]]

[[>...]] (if:visits >= 8)[=[[>Fine.]]

[[>I'll leave.|START]]

Yes you are!!!! [[>No I'm not dude]]

Then LEAVE!!!! [[>Okay fine bye]]

You cannot open the window. It is sealed shut. [[(Punch through the glass)]]

You grab your ORB. What will you do with IT? [[(Glimpse inside)]] [[(Lick IT)]]

Oh. Okay. Not interested, huh? Not interested in my story? [[(Nope)]]

You go downstairs. There's not much down here other than a few cupboards and a table. You have no chairs. You usually prefer to stand. [[(Find something to eat)]]

You punch at the glass, as hard as you can. Unfortunately, because you are Theseus J. Wizardington, you are quite weak. The only thing that happens as a result is your paw hurting quite a lot. [[(Locate object to throw through window)]]

The closest thing you have nearby is your ORB. [[(Grab your ORB and throw IT through the window)]]

You throw your ORB through the window. The glass shatters. The ORB also shatters on the rocks below. [[(Mourn your glorious ORB)]] [[(Jump out the newly-opened window)]]

Wow. You can't believe you just did that. Why would you do that? What's wrong with you? You bring your paws to your face and begin to sob. Your ORB is what made you special. Without your ORB you are barely a wizard. [[(Cry like a loser with no ORB)]]

You jump out the window. Luckily for you, cats always land on their feet. Slightly less luckily for you, you land on the rocks. The quite pointy rocks that just shattered your ORB. Ow. [[(Walk away from your tower)]]

You walk through the forest, and eventually approach the shore. A large lake stretches out in front of you. [[(Walk on the water)]]

You are not buoyant enough to walk on water, Wizardington. Your paws sink immediately, which would be less of a problem if you knew how to swim. [[(Drown)]]

You drown in the shallow water. No thrashing, no struggling for air, nothing. Nobody in Oregon realizes you are dead. Nobody in Oregon can realize you are dead in the first place. Your one friend notices your absence. He messages you after several months. Just "Hey, The. How are you? i haven't heard from you in a whiLe." Then a "i hope you're aLright." Then nothing. He assumes you have moved on. Your ORB remains shattered. The viscous liquid inside no longer bothers to flow, now out of Theseus J. Wizardington's sight. Your tower remains standing. It will never fall. The grass will never blow in the wind. The leaves will never rustle. Oregon comes to a standstill. It's over. You are dead at 18 years old.

You collapse to the floor of your wizard tower and weep. What will you do now? It's over. You're going to be nothing forever. [[(Be nothing)]]

You are nothing. Nobody in Oregon realizes you are gone. Nobody in Oregon can realize you are gone in the first place. Your one friend notices your absence. He messages you after several months. Just "Hey, The. How are you? i haven't heard from you in a whiLe." Then a "i hope you're aLright." Then nothing. He assumes you have moved on. Your ORB remains shattered. The viscous liquid inside no longer bothers to flow, now out of Theseus J. Wizardington's sight. Your tower remains standing. It will never fall. The grass will never blow in the wind. The leaves will never rustle. Oregon comes to a standstill. It's over.

Fine! You fall asleep in your bed. When you wake up it's the year 3025. Everyone is DEAD! Everyone is DEAD except Theseus J. Wizardington. And the other residents of Oregon. But they weren't really alive in the first place. [[(Cool)]]

When you look outside the sky is GREEN. And DARK. Because everyone's DEAD. And it's, like, an apocalypse or something. Yeah. An apocolypse. And there's a bunch of meteors and shit about to hit earth. And it's super scary. And you're really scared because you're in the apocolypse and you're gonna DIE! [[(Okay)]]

You go to message your only friend, accitingSalubriousness, only to find out he's DEAD! He is DEAD and you were left ALIVE! What a tragedy! You cry your eyes out because your only friend is DEAD and you are ALIVE! [[(Mhm)]]

Theseus dies a terrible death! All alone! Because a big POISONOUS meteor hits his lake! And he DIES when he drinks from the big POISONOUS lake!!!!!!!! [[(Oh no)]]

Fuck you. You're a real bitch, you know that? You could have at least pretended to be interested. Leave me alone. [[(Okayyyy)]]

Whatever... I don't care... I didn't care in the first place! Fuck that Theseus guy! I hope he jumps out his window and drowns and dies all alone and nobody finds him! [[(Wow. That's pretty mean. What if Theseus heard you saying that about him?)]]

Sigh... You're right. That was pretty mean of me. It's not a big deal if you're not interested. I don't really care. You should just go. Be on your way. I'll be on mine.

There's nothing to eat in your wizard tower. You're not usually hungry. If you wanted something to eat, you'd have to head to Fort Klamath. [[(Go outside and eat dirt)]]

You scoop up the dirt in your paws and stuff it in your mouth. Wow. that tastes. Like dirt. You struggle to swallow it because you are, in fact, Theseus J. Wizardington, and not an experienced Dirt Eater. [[(spit Out the dirt Oh my gOd this tastes sO bad)]]

You spit out the dirt. Wow. That sucked. [[(Eat more dirt)]]

You shovel more dirt in your mouth. Oh, fuck, now you're choking on it. [[(Choke on the dirt and die)]]

You die from choking on dirt. Wow. How pathetic. Nobody in Oregon realizes you are dead. Nobody in Oregon can realize you are dead in the first place. Your one friend notices your absence. He messages you after several months. Just "Hey, The. How are you? i haven't heard from you in a whiLe." Then a "i hope you're aLright." Then nothing. He assumes you have moved on. Your tower remains standing. It will never fall. The grass will never blow in the wind. The leaves will never rustle. Oregon comes to a standstill. It's over. You are dead at 18 years old. From choking on dirt. What a loser.

You look at the ORB. You see blue liquid. Oh, you almost forgot. What do you want to look at? [[(The past)]] [[(The future)]] [[(Your friend)]] [[(Your enemies)]] [[(Your aquaintances)]] [[(Strangers)]] [[(Yourself)]]

You lick your ORB. Um. Okay. Why don't you do something else with it instead? [[(Glimpse inside)]]

You look into the ORB. You are five years old, hitting the floor of your wizard tower with a stick. You are also wearing a brand new wizard hat, much too big for you. You have no parents supervising you. You are completely alone. Despite this, you seem quite content. Thirteen-year-ago Theseus has a very big grin on his face. He is most definitely having fun. Well, that's enough staring at ORBs for today. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

You look into the ORB. You are in someone else's car, ORB in your lap. You are on your way to Kansas to see your friend and his partner. They have no idea you are coming, but they will let you stay regardless. You look quite anxious. It feels a little bittersweet looking into this timeline, but you can't quite pinpoint why. You don't feel like looking further into the future. It's nice not knowing things, sometimes. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

You look into the ORB. Your friend is on his computer, seemingly busy. His trademark hi-vis vest has been thrown onto his bed. You haven't seen many pictures of him, but you know he almost always wears it. He's glaring at the screen. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was angry. But he's not! He just looks like that by default. Or maybe he is mad all the time. You're happy to see him. You should talk to him some time. Probably when he's less busy. You should probably go do something else for now, though. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

Which one? [[(The other wizard)]] [[(The freak)]] [[(The O lover)]]

A random person appears in your mind. You look into the ORB for her. She is an orange tabby cat. She is laying in her bed on her stomach, on her phone. Hey, wait a minute. She's messaging your friend! Wow! You didn't know he had that many friends! You feel very happy for him. She has a very wide grin on her face as she's bantering with him. She also reads out her messages as she is typing them. And occasionally comments out loud on her own messages. What an interesting critter. Well, that's enough staring at ORBs for today. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

Which one? [[(The brick wall)]] [[(Your friend's friend)]]

You look at the ORB. You see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside the ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Inside that ORB you see yourself looking at the ORB. Okay. That's enough. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

You scowl as you look into the ORB. Oh, okay. Your enemy, the Evil Wizard seems to just be frolicking in a meadow. Cool. Their activities don't seem to be very evil. They might be mad if you told them that, though. Not that you'd want to tell them anything. Well, they're alive. And being less evil than before. Cool. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

You scowl as you look into the ORB. Oh. Wow. This girl's very short. Shorter than your friend, even. Probably because she's a vole. She's in bed, on her phone. She seems to be on... that one app. The one that had that decent name until some muskrat guy bought it. Then he had it renamed to Y. Kind of confusing to refer to. The people on that app always seemed pretty confusing too. Now the girl's arguing about something you don't quite understand. You don't really care about what she's up to. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

You scowl as you look into the ORB. You see a rather tidy room. The O lover is on her computer, probably arguing with someone. Behind her is... oh. Oh. Okay. Behind her is a corkboard with a picture of your friend's profile pinned to it. It also has an X on it. And it's also got something written on it. You don't feel like reading that. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

You look into the ORB. Oh. Okay. This guy's just staring blankly at a wall. Sitting down at his bed, staring at the wall. His room's entirely grey. He is also grey. And seemingly a wolf. You watch him for a couple more minutes. He keeps staring at the wall. He hasn't moved at all. Except for his breathing. You're getting pretty bored of the wall. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]

You look into the ORB. Wow. There's a very tall silver fox laying on her bed. You didn't expect her to look like that. Not that you would have had any idea what she looks like. You've never seen a photo of her and she pretty much solely speaks in numbers. But still. Wow. She's taller than you, and you're pretty tall. Despite how obnoxious she seemed before, she doesn't appearing to be doing much at the minute. Just scrolling through her messages. Oh, wow, these are her conversations with your friend. She's rereading his messages. Almost... worriedly? Well, that's enough staring at ORBs for today. You should probably go do something else. [[(Go downstairs)]] [[(Sleep in your bed)]] [[(Jump out the window)]]